Are you a Slave to Self-Sabotage?

September 23, 2019
Gem Blight

I have lost count of the amount of times I have had conversations with women (including myself!) who are trying to improve their health, fitness and lifestyles yet, somehow, their biggest saboteur is... you guessed it... themselves.

For some, it is easy to spot when they are 'getting in their own way' and so they change up the game: they focus on changing their daily habits and patterns of behaviour to help them to achieve their goals more efficiently.

For others, it is not this simple and we have to work hard every single day at trying to not sabotage our efforts and stop ourselves from reaching our own goals 🎯


How to spot if you are a slave to self-sabotage

❓ Do you set yourself a goal, with realistic time constraints and then suddenly find yourself 2, 6 or 12 months down the line in either exactly the same starting place or further away than when you started?

❓ Do you think back to times when you were focused, motivated and living the reality of what is a goal for you now, and wonder where you lost your momentum?

❓ Do you constantly promise yourself that 'tomorrow will be different' 'I'll start again on Monday'?

❓ Have you noticed that you feel you need to justify your actions to others (even if they aren't asking for it) because you are actively doing something that goes against the goals you have told them that you have set for yourself?


If you have answered 'YES' to any and all of the above questions then keep reading, my friend, as I am going to help you how to get out of your own way once and for all!


My top anti-sabotage tips to help you reach your goals!

👊🏾 Priority YOU

Life can be a busy ol' thing and this is exactly why you need to make time for you a priority. Get yourself a diary or set some reminders on your phone to spend time working out, planning your food and prepping your meals.

Taking time to reflect on what you have done during each day that has worked and not worked for you (and how these actions make you feel, will also help you to sustain positive actions in helping you to avoid derailing from your focus.

🤷‍♀ Ask yourself, "is this getting me closer or further away from my goals?"

Whenever I catch myself about to make a choice which will directly impact on my ability to reach my goals, I ask myself: "is this going to get me closer or further away from my goals?" 

This simple question is always enough for me to either rethink my action if it is going to take me further away from my goal, or take conscious ownership of my action before I continue with seeing it through.

🤔 How will this action make me feel?

When asking myself if my action will get me further away or closer to my goals, I always try to envision how the action will make me feel. Will I feel guilt? Proud? Healthy? Sluggish? Regretful? Happy?

If I am going to attach any negative feelings to my action then I generally will not continue with it as I do not want to hold onto negative thoughts and feelings which could have been easily avoided by making a different choice.

🎯 Are my goals realistic?

If you have set yourself a goal to be a certain dress size, to be able to lift a certain weight or to attain the closest thing to a 'perfect' lifestyle as you can; make sure that you are setting yourself realistic end goals or time constraints for yourself.

Being vertically challenged at 5 foot 1, I am never going to look like a tall, slim Victoria's Angel. So to set myself a goal to try and attain this aesthetic isn't realistic, or attainable for me.

Make your goals realistic and be honest with yourself about your goals and what you want to be achieving.

💤 Find success in sleep!

You need to sleep to be able to perform at your best. If you are always feeling lethargic, you are not going to feel motivated to workout or eat well. You will want to reach for foods to give you high bursts of energy, usually found in high-sugary, processed foods.

💔 Comparison is the thief of joy

Social media platforms, such as Instagram, give us the opportunity to post the closest thing to a 'perfect' reality for others to look at. I can assure you that what looks like someone else's version of having all of their stuff together, most likely is not the case.

Stay in your own lane, focus on you and your end goal and recognise that we are all different and will achieve different things at different times.

🏆 Don't fear success

A lurking fear of success is one of the most common reasons for us not reaching our goals. The reason why? Because success has implications of it's own...

The price for reaching your goals could be that you can no longer eat the foods that you love all of the time, or in the quantities that you are used to enjoying; it means working out on a morning rather than having a lie-in because that's the only time you've got within your day.

Some women also express that reaching their goals concerns them because of the comments they might receive throughout their journey, or that it might change the dynamic of their relationships.

💕 Find your tribe

You are significantly more likely to achieve your goals if you surround yourself with a supportive network. It might be that those people closest to you do not understand why you are trying to reach your goal, or they don't believe in you because you never appear to reach where you want to be.

This is why for me and many of Results with Lucy's members, the community of #rwlfitties is so important. The support available from real women in exactly the same position as you is second to none. There is always someone available to help, encourage and support you no matter what your goal is.

🔮 Change your outlook

I think the most important way to avoid self-sabotage is to change your outlook on how you approach your goals. As the famous saying goes:

If you think you can, you're correct. If you think you can't, you're also correct.

Don't reach the point you always reach and go back to comfortable patterns of behaviour and get in your own way. Push beyond what is comfortable and familiar to you, and believe that you are capable of change and reaching your goals.

You need to believe in yourself above anything else.


👉🏽 Want access to our exclusive With Self Love courses to help you build supportive relationships, improve your confidence, create your own motivation and find your happiness? Click here to start your free trial today to help you further with avoiding the self-sabotage trap! 👈🏽

Gem Blight
Mindset & Motivational Blogger

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