#WithSelfLove: Top 5 confidence tips

January 11, 2018

Confidence is at the heart of everything that we do.

 Every challenge that we face and every choice that we make will depend on our level of confidence. 

> Going on your own to a social situation where you don’t know anyone.

> Going to the gym for the first time not knowing what to expect.

> Even boiling a few eggs for the first time.

If we feel unconfident with any given task, then we’ll either choose to avoid it or pass it over to someone else to do.

If we want to succeed in life - if we want to live our life on our terms - if we want to be free to calve out our own future. Then it all starts with us being willing to face our fears and to challenge our current beliefs. It’s within the act of challenge where we find self-worth, just like its within the act of avoidance where we find self-doubt.

So, the questions is, how do we build confidence so that we can challenge ourselves to become the person that we want to be? 

Here are 5 simple tips that you can put into action right now.

Tip 1. Awareness:
All therapeutic processes start with your awareness. You must first be aware that you are avoiding certain tasks in order to know that you need to challenge them.

- Every time you find yourself holding back from doing something  (no matter how small) ask yourself:

“WHY am I avoiding this task?”

“WHAT am I afraid of?”

Next, ask yourself: 

What is the ONE small action step that I can take right now that will help me to grow in confidence?”

As soon as you’ve decided on an action step… DO IT! Every step that you take towards challenging yourself is another step closer to becoming a more confident you!

Tip 2. Step-By-Step:

 More often than not, tasks can seem so overwhelming in our minds that we avoid them completely. To overcome this we need to break the task down in to tiny, manageable chunks.

 Lets say for example that you are fearful or apprehensive about turning up to a party on your own.

 Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on one step at a time:

 - Getting ready

- Leaving the house

- Getting in your car

- Driving to the party

- Parking the car

- Walking to the door

- Knocking on the door

and so on...

 Put all of your focus onto the task at hand ONLY.  Focus on doing the best job you can with that specific task.

 This will stop the feeling of overwhelm and put you back in control of negative thinking.

 Even the biggest challenge can seem easy once break it down into little manageable steps.

 Tip 3. Be Brave:

Some tasks can simply be to much for us, we lack so much confidence to even get started with the first step.  You know that you want to outcome the fear, but the journey just seem to terrifying.

 I had a client who had successfully passed her driving test, but since passing she had never driven on her own. Just the mere thought of driving on her own scared the life out of her. We worked together on a number of visualisation strategies, but it soon came the time for her to step into her fear and take action. Even though she was feeling apprehensive, even though she still had some fear.  She grabbed her car keys and went for a drive around the block.

 Sometimes we just need to be bold, be brave and step up to the mark.

Courage is all about facing your fears, courage is about being afraid but doing it anyway!

 So, the next time you find yourself in a complete state of panic at the thought of doing something, find the courage inside and fight through the fear.

Believe in yourself, you are stronger than you think.

 You’ve got this!

 Tip 4. Celebrate The Win:

Every step you take, celebrate.

 Facing your fears can be a real challenge for so many of us, it can feel like a long hard journey, as with all long journeys we can get tied and exhausted, we may even want to quit before we reach the end.

 This is why its so important to celebrate the little wins while your moving towards becoming the confident you.

 Every time that you overcome one off your challenges, give yourself a pat on the back.

 Recognise what a great job you did and how brave you were to ever face the challenge.

 Look back with pride at how far you have come and this will keep you motivated and inspired to continue on your journey.

 Tip 5. Actively Seek Challenge:

Tip number 5 is all about being proactive!

 Once you’ve got the hang of stepping into the fear and celebrating your wins, its now time to kick it up a level.

 To grow in confidence we need to look for new and exciting challenges.  The kind of challenge that we would currently look at and have no idea how on earth we will overcome it!

 - Asking someone out on a date that you’ve always been to afraid to ask.

- Applying for a job that you never had the courage to do so before.

- Running a marathon even though currently you can’t even run 5k.

 By setting ourselves these big goals and taking one step at a time toward achieving them, it will have a dramatic effect on your confidence and your self-worth.

 Fear is no longer going to stop you from becoming the person that you want to be, fear is no longer going to hold you back.

 You are in control, you are deciding the direction of your life and you are willing to challenge yourself every step of the way so that you can become the person that you know you are inside.



Fear is just in your head:  By facing your fears & challenging yourself you will grow in confidence.

 You can either choose to giving to fear OR choose to be the confidence version of yourself.

 The choice is yours.


So until next time… Have an awesome and inspiring rest of your day!


For more #withselflove guidance, get started today with a free trial on our Fitness, Food & Mindset membership!


With Self Love,

Jeff Spires 👋🏼 

High-Performance Coach and Author

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  • Sara September 17, 2019

    Such a useful blog on self confidence!

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